As children of God we must practice obedience. Walking in obedience, according to God’s will, is like a muscle that must be exercised in order for it to be strengthened. The way that we strengthen that muscle is through living according to God’s Word and obeying His Spirit.
We don’t obey God because we have to even though sometimes it comes down to that. We obey God because we love Him and want to honor Him and have a good relationship with Him. We are also a reflection of His name, we represent Him, and because of that we should want to honor God with our words, actions, and attitude.
As parents we are called to teach our kids how to obey. We do this through modeling obedience in our own personal life and through parenting our kids according to God’s Word. Something we tell our kids, when you obey us you are obeying God. The things that we are telling you to do are not things we’ve made up or things we “feel” like you should know or do but they are instructions provided to us through God’s Word. We tell them this so that one day, when they are grown they will lean on God and His truth for guidance.
This passage in Ephesians ends with instructions for husbands and wives to apply to their relationship. They are to become one flesh and start a family apart from their parents. Husbands are to love their wives as themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. It is because of the profound mystery – that marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church – that these actions are important.
Many different kinds of people get married. But no matter how different our backgrounds or personalities are from our spouses, we can build a Christ-centered relationship that honors God when we approach the marriage covenant with love and respect. This scripture guidance also teaches my husband and me how to create a strong foundation for our family to experience the joy of living faithfully and obediently under God. Culture tries to define what relationships, marriage, and family should be, but the Word is our ultimate standard.
Likewise, the church, though made up of people with many different experiences, talents, and personalities, can create a Christ-centered community that brings glory to God. Just as a new family is formed with a marriage, when we begin following Christ as an individual, we leave behind our old identity and join the family of Jesus – the church. The markers of members of this family are also love and respect. Jesus cares for us, his church, because he loves us deeply. And because Christ first loved us, we give him our respect (and our praise, submission, love, etc.) as the head of the body of believers. This dynamic is starkly different from the norms of our world and is why the church is truly the light on the hill for all to see.
Ephesians 5:29-30 tells us that Christ feeds and cares for His church, for we are members of his body. The verses give examples for husbands on how they can love their wives, but I can also very clearly relate to these terms because I think about the feeding and care of my own body on a daily basis. The thought experiment is amplified even more if you have children or others under your responsibility as you also think about feeding and caring for their bodies. It takes thoughtfulness and effort to provide for ourselves and others.
I may have to bear that burden in a physical sense, but I am thankful that Jesus bears the burden for me in a spiritual sense. He cares for His church body tenderly and with attention to our individual needs. He sees me, my sins, and my hopes, and He made a way to the Father for me and all of the church through His death and resurrection. Because we were bought at a price, scripture instructs us to honor God with our bodies.
Lord, I pray that I remember the body you gave me is made in your image and is a temple that the Holy Spirit resides in. Thank you for this body, which is a tool for me to love you and serve others. Help me to steward it for your glory. Amen.
When I read Ephesians 5:25, I think, ” My husband should be as Christ, loving and serving absolutely perfectly, and anything less than that ideal standard means there is room for him to improve.” I kid, but when the standard for the role is Jesus, it does emphasize the level of responsibility a husband has in his position.
And earlier in Ephesians, the text calls us all—not just husbands—to follow Christ’s example. Because I am one of His “dearly loved children,” I am to walk in love. Thankfully, I don’t have to wonder what walking in love functionally means, I can read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
What is the result of loving and giving of oneself like Jesus? We get the honor of being a “fragrant offering” to God the Father. The instruction of scripture for husbands, wives, and all brothers and sisters in Christ is rich in practical application and spiritual blessings.
I remember doing premarital counseling and studying these verses from Ephesians 5. While the verses did have practical instructions for me and my now-husband to take in, the picture of marriage reflecting the relationship between Christ and the church is the lesson I think of most frequently when I read this text.
The modern world thinks of marriage as an institution of a bygone era or an outdated way of making a romantic commitment. However, scripture shows us that God has a deeper purpose for the covenant relationship Christians enter into when they get married.
Husbands give us a representation of Christ loving, serving and being the head of the church (the wife). And in His capacity as head of the church, Jesus is its Savior. As Ephesians 1:22 tells us, this is a structure that God purposely created. In the same way, a healthy, God-centered marriage makes spouses feel safe and loved, those of us who are members of the church body gain access to perfect love and eternal security through submission to Christ. This perspective shows me that the covenant of marriage is as relevant and significant as it’s ever been, just as God created it to be.
I chafe at the idea of submitting to something other than my own will because I think I know what’s best for my life. But it’s clear to me that thinking this way is “vain conceit.” It puts me and my ideas of “best” above all others. Philippians 2:3 calls for me to value others above myself – “others” who were made in the image of God and who have value because He made them. It is an act whose purpose is not to put myself down but, instead, an opportunity to show reverence for Christ.
Jesus does not ask something of us that he did not do perfectly himself. He shows us humility through many of His actions, but most importantly, through His submission to the Father’s will at the cross. We get the opportunity to emulate Jesus through our relationships and our heart posture towards the world around us. When I have allowed sisters in Christ to speak into my life, they pointed me to a deeper understanding of Christ and His will for me instead of my own.
The practice of submission is a practice God will use for our good.
When you hear the word “dwell,” you might initially think of a house or place of living, which is a fitting word to describe how the Word of Christ should be in our lives. My golden retriever, Obi has grown a lot which means he sheds so much more. Five minutes after sweeping, Obi tosses a few more tumbleweeds all over the living room, and I am nonstop sweeping, vacuuming, and cleaning the house. For Paul to use the word “dwell” was fascinating because scripture should dwell in my life and never stop cleaning me like how I clean my house. When I dive into God’s Word every day, I find confidence, joy, and patience so much easier! I understand my values and identity more and more as I read scripture.
Allowing the Word of Christ to dwell in me richly can be difficult when I get tired or busy, but then I am reminded that like the floors of my house, I am in constant need of someone to care for me. That might seem silly, but scripture should take priority in our lives, even if it is not reading and highlighting verses and looking for cross-references and commentary. Today, you can take one verse and let that dwell in your heart, memorize it, question it, and chew on it. When we give space and time for God’s Word in our lives, we can understand how God is moving in our lives more everyday!
After reading this, I want to encourage you to open that dusty Bible or that unopened app and start letting God’s Word dwell in your heart. Let us prioritize the Word over the busyness and just see how God begins to straighten and clean your life.
