I think about my life before coming to know Jesus and how painful it was. There was fear, shame, guilt, manipulation — it was the opposite of radiant. In my messy, very broken life, I was met in the middle of a storm, and I was encouraged to ask questions. It was scary, asking hard questions and feeling like I didn’t understand anything. But I did it.
I set my pride aside and decided I would rather take the risk of learning more about this Jesus guy as opposed to going down the same path I had always taken. The old path was very worn and seemed to go in circles. This funny thing started to happen when I asked questions and just leaned into my skepticism; I started to experience peace in my life. A calming force that was undeniable and very clearly the Lord.
God was pursuing me, and though it took a long time for me to see that, He had been there gently nudging me all along, placing people and opportunities along my path that would go on to have such a deep impact on my life. When I look back on it now, it hurts how obvious it is.
My face, which used to be covered with shame and uncertainty, now had a renewed vision and hope. The things that I feared and the trials that would shake me were still difficult, but I was no longer doing it alone. It was in my surrendering that I gained a life worth living, a much more radiant life.
So, ask the hard questions. Dig into the Word. Find community and see what happens. You might just find what I did, that my story wasn’t over — it was only beginning.