I’ve heard this verse many times, but only recently have I felt its depth. The Lord, maker of all of Heaven and Earth, is guiding, leading, protecting, and comforting us. I could always get behind being refreshed, comforted, and protected, but I felt the guiding and leading part would be safer in my own hands.
Like many people, my childhood was filled with chaos and complicated family dynamics. Starting at age three, I’d travel back and forth from my moms to my dad’s house with my older sister. As my parents each eventually remarried, it became even more complicated. Blended families carry their own inherent complexities, but mine also experienced substance abuse, mental health crises, and violence. Seeking a sense of control, I took on the role of defender and stabilizer for my family. I was praised for being “easy,” so a fierce independence formed within me.
Because of my stepdad’s obedience in bringing us all to church, I had an encounter with Jesus at age seven and began to see the goodness of God. Still, growing up, I would only bring God in as if He were an independent contractor in my life instead of the creator of it. I wanted the benefits of a shepherd without the reliance upon Him.
Entering adulthood, I realized that the self-sufficiency, which I thought marked my freedom, was keeping me in bondage all along. Only when I humbly submitted to being shepherded by God did I then feel the fullness of His comfort and renewing of my soul. In fact, what’s even better is that it was never about us. It’s about bringing glory to our grace-filled Father through our obedience. He directs our steps and provides in abundance. It is safe to relinquish control to our Good Shepherd.