I don’t remember a time when I didn’t believe that God existed. Neither do I recall giving any consideration to the idea that I was wandering selfishly around in the darkness as a lost soul.
I was moving with the crowd, doing whatever I felt would give me pleasure. Before I started following Jesus, the only time I ever thought about God was when I needed something. Prayer was never anything more than an expression of what I wanted. Even when my life and marriage were falling apart, my initial pursuit of Him was a desperate cry for help to make things right with my family.
It wasn’t until I gave up and surrendered my life to the Lord that I began to see the light of His Kingdom begin to shine and expose the dark areas of my life. Every disclosure brought me to a fresh opportunity to repent and go deeper in my knowledge and understanding of Him.
It is my earnest prayer that He will keep shining His light into the darkest regions of my heart so that His ways are my ways and His thoughts are my thoughts.