March 30, 2023

Andra Cole
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:6-8

I can easily recall a time before my relationship with Jesus I was attracted to darkness—it was, of course, my rebellious spirit and believing that my “power” was in myself. My thought process was to get through life by hard work, easy, shallow relationships, and doing things my own way. What I ended up with was a lot of broken relationships, including the one with God, because of my own selfishness.

The turning point for me was losing my father in 2008; I had begun a journey before his diagnosis of really seeking Jesus. I had an incredible mentor who held me accountable and helped me unfold some of the mysteries of God. God began to reveal my selfishness in very tangible ways—the way it affected my marriage, my children, and relationships that I believed were healthy but were damaging.

I began to want to find peace instead of power. I wanted to know that God loved me, accepted me where I was, and I was willing to change to have a relationship with Him—that I could trust Him. And, even in my search of seeking God seemed selfish, He always gives His love freely.

In the trial of my father’s passing, I began to search for understanding, and what I found was God’s character and what He did for me on the cross. To understand His sacrifice, not selfishness. He chose to be bruised, broken, insulted, and He gave His life for me. I couldn’t understand that type of love yet, but it really was all I ever wanted. In seeking Him, I began to know my power—His righteousness, my justification, my sanctification of when I confessed Him as Lord and Savior, and my continued sanctification to become more like Him.

I am as imperfect as they come, but I do understand my value, my worth in Him, and my actions, decisions, and choices are now an overflow of His love for me. He would choose me if I were the only one in the world, and so now I choose Him. I am still unraveling my understanding of His love for me, but that’s the story of the cross—His amazing grace, over and over again.