There was no sense of “rest” or “fortress” in my life before truly coming to know Jesus. I was very shaken. In fact, I was like a walking tornado looking to wreck my life, and anyone who got in my way was just a casualty. I had years of childhood trauma that I couldn’t make sense of and was full of anger. I had heard about God, sure. I just didn’t believe in Him.
As a teenager, I turned to drugs, alcohol, and dangerous thrill-seeking behavior in an attempt to numb the pain I was feeling. I was living this double life, and the end game was simply survival. That’s the thing about God, though. He sees us in all of our suffering, in all of our attempts to run from Him, and He pulls up a chair right next to our storm and waits patiently. When I was in college, God really started to soften my heart, and I can see so clearly now that He was behind the scenes orchestrating relationships and conversations that ultimately led me to Him. One of my good friends knew that I was skeptical about church and religion but would gently encourage me to join him on Sundays. Despite my efforts, I eventually found myself walking through the doors.
About three minutes into worship, I was on the ground sobbing. I didn’t understand what was happening, but my friends did, and all I can say is that in that moment, I finally felt rest. In that moment, I found Jesus in the storm. I just had to look to see Him. Ever since, He has been my rock, and my life has been radically changed for the better. I’m no longer easily shaken; He is now my anchor.