When I was in high school, my life got flipped upside down. I grew up in a broken home, as a lot of kids do, but I was never that bothered by it as it was all I knew, up until my life did a 180 for the worse. My dad made some life-altering decisions that affected all of us. Through it, I had a lot of confusion and hurt in my life that poured out into making my own poor decisions and staying in situations and a relationship that I should have left long before.
One day, I hit my own breaking point where I realized it was not love and was not where I wanted to be with my life any longer. Within two weeks, I moved six hours away to a place I had never even heard about, San Marcos, TX. I was 18 at the time, and at this point in my life, it felt like I had lost my identity in who I was and what made me me. But through all the pain and all the unsteadiness, I still felt I had a very open and close relationship with Christ. It was through my repenting and begging to get out that He led me to San Marcos.
At this point, I had also been praying for at least a year every night for the kind of man I wanted to do life with who would make up my husband. I prayed for him to first and foremost love Jesus above everything, and then I prayed he came from little to no baggage as I felt I carried enough for us both. I didn’t feel worthy to even ask that, but these were just some of the things I prayed about constantly. Coincidentally enough, although I don’t believe in coincidences, on my first day in town, the only person I knew took me to Wimberley for Market Day. Leaving town, we stopped at a family-owned pizza restaurant that I soon got a job at and came to find out that’s where I got to meet, know, and work alongside my husband-to-be.
Looking back, I am always in such awe as to how the Lord heard my cries and led me exactly where I needed to be, where my heart so longed and desired to be — to meet the man that I could walk through life with and would show me Christ’s love for me. The enemy had tried to tell me I wasn’t worth it and that I’d never be worthy enough but my Heavenly Father heard my cries and took my shame and threw it as far as the East is from the West. He saw me as the life He purchased when He gave His life on the cross and delivered me. All I had to do was listen and follow.
I want to encourage you if you ever feel like you’re in a rut and you don’t know where to go, bring it to Jesus. He purchased your life when He died on the cross. No matter what the enemy tries to throw at you, you are beautiful and sought after. His light shines on your face, so do not be cast down; come out and be glorious.