Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Says, “29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This is a familiar verse we grew up with to stop getting us to yell at our older sisters, or maybe that was just me. Like every verse, this verse is meant to be read circularly, meaning time and time again. I remember when my parents divorced this verse led me to stop cursing, which, as that habit stuck all these years, I now have seen this verse in a new and similarly true way.
Recently I read through James, and in James 3, he writes about taming the tongue and how humans can tame anything from lions to fish to my golden retriever that acts like a piranha, we can tame them. When it comes to our words; however, we can not seem to ever tame them. When I get frustrated at an activity, person, or just bumping into a countertop, it seems the words I can sometimes say but mostly think and believe in my heart are more hurtful than the lack of curse words I have said all these years. James describes the tongue as a small rudder that guides an entire ship where the words I say throughout my day seem innocent, funny, or justified and yet I was just numbing the way I felt after saying hurtful words.
I always wanted to evangelize to my friend but I was always gossiping about others to him, or even evangelizing to my dad but I was always yelling at myself when I was doing poorly in sports. To begin thinking about how my words can build others up instead of bringing a hammer of justice, I began seeing God work through those relationships in ways I did not think was possible. If you are struggling to wonder what it is like to evangelize better in your workplace, to your family, or friends, maybe consider letting God lead that rudder in your life. When someone messes up and you are justified in tearing them down in any way, maybe consider the impact of encouraging them could have in not only loving your neighbor as yourself but in how they see Christ’s love through your words.