God was calling me to follow Jesus long before I responded to Him. I was blinded by my selfish desires and the mere thought of making a commitment like that was frightful.
My will was in direct opposition to the Lord’s and I thought I knew a better way. The picture I envisioned of being a dedicated and devoted disciple was one of boredom and monotony.
Whatever the cause of my faulty reasoning was doesn’t really matter because I was clueless about the adventure that was awaiting me once I made the decision to repent. The blessing that followed my decision to trust God instead of leaning on my own understanding of the way life should be lived has been delightful.
His ways are so much higher than my ways and experiencing the reality of that simple truth is inexhaustible for me to discover in my lifetime. I thank God for His long-suffering with me and pray for a greater hunger for His Kingdom and righteousness.