When Obedience Comes Before Confidence

Aidan Edwards // Crosstalk College Ministry Leader

Welcome Week for Crosstalk was full of outreach events. Throughout the week, I had the opportunity to go to each one and hand out cards inviting students to come to Crosstalk. At first, it felt like a simple task for most people. Hand out a card, introduce yourself, invite them to an
event, and wish them a blessed day.

But for me, that was one of the more difficult things I had to do because of my stutter.

Some days were hot. Some days I was tired. Some days I did not feel confident enough to walk up to someone and start a conversation. And there were moments when my stutter made me want to hold back. I would think about what I was going to say, worry about how I would sound, and wonder if I should just let someone else do it. But I kept going. I kept showing up, handing out cards, and trusting that God could use my obedience even when I did not feel confident.

Then something happened that made it all worth it.

As the week went on, I started seeing people I had personally handed cards to showing up at our events. Even more than that, I got to see some of those same people begin getting involved in Crosstalk. That was when I realized that this was never really about me.

It was not about how confident I felt. It was not about whether I was having a good day. It was not even about how well I could speak. It was about being willing to go when God was calling
me to go.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV) says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

I think sometimes we wait until we feel ready, confident, or comfortable before we obey God. But obedience does not always feel comfortable. Sometimes it looks like showing up when you are tired. Sometimes it looks like stepping forward when you are nervous. Sometimes it means trusting God with the things that make you feel inadequate.

During Welcome Week, God reminded me that He does not need me to have everything figured out. He simply asks me to be obedient and trust Him with the results. I may never know what happens after I hand someone a card or invite them to an event. But I am thankful that God allowed me to see just a small part of what He was doing. I showed up. God did the rest.