May 12, 2025

Cam Escalante
"​​Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is holy to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a holy day. Do not grieve. Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them."
Nehemiah 8:9-12

Have you ever felt grieved or overwhelmed by the weight of your sin? Have you ever felt conviction to the point where all you can do is weep? I certainly have. What I find interesting about this passage is that when the Levites wept over their sin and their shortcomings of the law, Nehemiah instructed them to not grieve. What? Upon first glance, this seems odd to me. Isn’t it usually a good thing to feel the weight of our natural rebellion against God? Well yes, I believe it is. I believe that godly sorrow under the Holy Spirit leads to repentance and life (2 Corinthians 7:10). But I also believe even in the midst of conviction, we can rejoice and be glad because God himself is doing a work within us. I believe that Jesus wants us to be in a place of continually rejoicing that we are loved beyond measure; that he loves us enough to transform us. The Holy Spirit convicts us out of how deeply the Father loves us, and we cannot fathom the depths God’s love for us.

I had one day recently where the shame and guilt of my sin hit me all at once like a train. I couldn’t understand where the shame was coming from. I’ve been following Jesus for a while, I knew that I didn’t stand condemned before him, I was repentant, so why was I still feeling the weight of something Jesus himself died and resurrected to lift off of me? I processed and prayed with trusted people as God led, and in those times, I realized I was not allowing myself to receive how much God loved me. I knew all the church answers, I shared the truth with people all day long, but I wasn’t simply taking in the depths of how much God loved me, even in the midst of repenting and confessing. I do believe that godly sorrow and conviction is good, but only when we are also acknowledging that God’s love for us has not dwindled in the midst of that; that we don’t need to take ourselves into a self-deprecation spiral. That the joy of his love for us is our strength. I pray that in whatever you’re walking and working through, that your awareness of God’s love for you only increases today, and that you can celebrate this truth with gladness and joy.